Sometimes You Gotta Go Low: What We Can Learn From Michelle Obama

Forever FLOTUS also knows IT'S GOOD OVER HERE...

By Tonja Renée Stidhum

Michelle Obama, lovingly known as “Forever FLOTUS” is a walkable teachable moment. Her latest decision not to choose the farce known as the 2025 presidential inauguration of Donald Trump sealed that even more. So, we decided to round up a few things we’ve learned from the 44th First Lady.

1. Sometimes You Gotta Go Low

Yes, Michelle has been well-known for her political battle cry quotable, “When they go low, we go high.” But, let’s face it, not everyone deserves the respect it takes to go high. Sometimes, for them to really get the message we actually gotta be all:

“When you go low, I’m going to hell.”
“When you go low, I’m kicking you lower.”
“When you go low, I’m going blow-for-blow.”

Y’all get the gist. We’re just glad Michelle leaned into her humanity and admitted she sometimes has to go low, too.

Overall, Michelle’s speaking from a leadership standpoint—she’s not focused on the person going low, she’s focusing on the people who look up to her, thus her primary goal is to remain high for them. “High begets high,” Michelle said during her 2024 appearance on The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon.

2. Say No To The Invite

As you may have heard, Michelle decided not to attend Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20, despite the general expectation of former presidents and former first ladies to attend. And we say, “Good. For. Her.” Why attend a circus at the expense of being labeled a fellow clown?

We also love that she didn’t give an official reason for her absence because the reason doesn’t matter. We can speculate that she had a scheduling conflict or she simply wanted to protect her peace. “No,” is a complete sentence.

This is something to take forward in our own lives. Sure that invite may seem like a big deal, but you’re an even bigger deal, Honey. Declining an invite to something that doesn’t align with you is setting an important boundary. As Candace Denise Owens noted in Ep. 4 of IT’S GOOD OVER HERE, “saying ‘no’ to them is saying ‘yes’ to yourself.

3. Tell Our Own Stories

There are so many narratives out there about Michelle, which unfortunately comes with the territory of being well-known or famous. On a smaller scale, non-famous people can relate to that whether it’s at their workplace, social events, or family functions. But, there is power in telling your own story, Honey.

Michelle decided to do that with Becoming and The Light We Carry. Especially as Black women, that power is priceless. If we let other people gain control of our narrative, we might as well burn the book.

4. Mind Our Own Business

Of course, Michelle and Barack Obama’s life will never be “normal,” but from island vacays to adventurous hikes, it was obvious Michelle was enjoying her “back to private citizen” life.

First off, we couldn’t help but immediately squeal at those microbraids! We know Michelle’s hair has been panting for a break from those hyper-routine silk presses!

And of course, she and Barack have been continuing to do the work via their Obama Foundation and their production company Higher Group Productions (speaking of which, have y’all watched The Later Daters on Netflix? Get into it!!)

5. Keeping Our Eyes On The Prize

Even though Michelle didn’t show up to the inauguration, she still made her general presence known, Honey. And it had nothing to do with Trump—it was about her own ongoing mission, which aligns with MLK Day.

On the day of the inauguration, Michelle posted the following on her personal Instagram, along with a quote graphic of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:

“This #MLKDay, I hope you’ll join me and @WhenWeAllVote in honoring Dr. King’s life and legacy by getting involved in your community. Whether you’re mentoring students at your local school or volunteering for a cause that matters to you, it all helps make a difference. Tell me how you’re giving back today in the comments.”

It gave very much the energy of, “ANYWAY. We Move. Onward and upward.” Community is SO key, especially during moments of despair and hopelessness. We all we got.

What are some things you’ve learned from Forever FLOTUS? We wanna hear from you! Wanna rant? Wanna reflect on Michelle’s moves? Got some “Living Through The Second Trump Admin” tips for your fellow Honeys? Let’s commune in the comments, y’all.